Janet's blog

Christopher had gone for a guided walk on the Broomway on the previous Sunday.  http://www.bbc.com/travel/story/20170110-why-the-broomway-is-the-most-dangerous-path-in-britain  A group of eight, four were our friends and four unknown, nominally social distancing but with inevitable closer moments over the course of five hours.  On the morning of Wednesday 22 July, he heard that one of the group had tested positive for Covid. We beetled off at lunchtime for hastily booked tests at a drive-in, but before I'd managed to get hold of anyone at the Cancer Centre to see what they thought. This was starting to feel test-greedy - I'd done a home test on Friday 17 July  prompted after notifying a cold sore on the Kings College/Zoe C-19 daily app. Then the hospital one on 21st and now one with the Kentish Town Army. This involved being given a test kit by a soldier and having to administer it ourselves, but in a hot car with the windows closed. Thank you air conditioning. I'm g...

New elements to the  procedures this time. Strangely, perhaps, the Covid swab got taken in the chemo daycare area - curtained off in the section where blood pressures are taken and cannulae inserted. If I were organising things, I might put it somewhere with a lower concentration of people on chemotherapy. The swab was less troublesome than the ones I've done on myself - I'm either too tough on my tonsils or don't have the necessary fine motor skills. I'd also arranged for Christopher to be on the other end of the phone once I got into the consultant's room - it does help to have someone else listening out. Dr Miller had the same reassuring effect she has had at previous consultations. It's not a bland comforting but one referenced by facts. There are some particular phrases that do it. For instance, "we're still treating people who have been on X for five years," switches my mental railway points to a much more comfortable stretch of track . She i...

How does it feel this time?  The last fortnight has been a bit of a struggle tbh. The words are, "I've done it once, I can do it again." The feeling is more of dogged weariness with a high anxiety, tight-jawed overlay. I've felt quite foetal - if my back were more flexible I'd have been curled up in a ball some of the time.  Major distraction efforts required for hours at a time . These have been supplied in the most part by a stream of Donna Leon detective novels featuring Commissario Guido Brunetti and set in Venice. I think I must have picked the series up from A Good Read and added it to my long list of Books To Read, Films To Watch, Places To Visit. I've never been to Venice but am getting familiar with the basic geography while stuffing Amazon's Kindle coffers - grrr 😠. I'd start off at elevenses time, head to the sofa with a tray holding  Kindle and hot chocolate and cake (if available) then this would segue slowly into cup-a-soup and a drawn-o...

I saw the same gynae oncology registrar as last time and felt less awkward this time. He did very well with having not great news to impart. Mask stays on. Ca 125 was up to 72. That's 8 to 22 in 3 months, 22 - 72 in a month. That told me to expect worse. Mask stays on. Professional, interested mask goes on. Things have progressed, in a bad way. The two lymph nodes from last time have grown from 13 x 17 mm to 16 x 21 mm(near aorta in abdomen), and 9 - 15mm (near where the aorta splits in the abdomen). Two more have become of note - one from 6 - 10mm (near rectum) and one from 4 - 9 mm (crucially, this is in my chest, above the diaphragm, near the lower lobe of my right lung). These are all lymph nodes, but there is still worse news. There is a 4cm pelvic mass near some post-surgical thickening. I recall someone, at some point, saying that cancer cells can hide in scar tissue... Masks stay on. (This does explain why some of the old and troublesome loo habits have returned - r...

Well, 7 July has arrived. Phone call from Cancer Centre yesterday to check no Covid symptoms, confirm that visitors are still  not allowed in the Centre, and travel by private car or cycle preferred, to avoid public transport. If we hadn't escaped to Devon for a few days, I might just have been cycling fit, but as it is, I haven't worn in my backside enough. So, car it was, with Christopher settling into his role of chauffeur, in post-lockdown traffic - is this as bad as it ever was, or was it worse? Certainly it was joyous when the roads were almost empty. Silver linings - phone satnav revealed a previously untried, delightfully bijou quarter of North London in England's Lane. Really will have to get the cycling sorted out for next time... Yesterday was a bit of an anxious day. Immersed self in Amanda Craig, The Lie of the Land till about 2pm then did shopping, made some phone calls about a nasty dispute at the allotments and then went for some allotment therapy. Dropp...