ONE STEP AT A TIME - 11 MAY 2022

 The exam under anaesthetic went pretty straightforwardly - relieved to surrender anxiety to unconsciousness for a while.

I made some notes shortly after  in the expectation I would otherwise forget what had happened in the anaesthetic room and shortly after - expanded, they go like this:

Darlene - anaesthetic/theatre nurse - could she be the same nurse who looked after me when I went under the knife in 2018? She was warming the trolley with a hot air device for me to lay my anxiety and starvation chilled limbs on - delicious.

Rob - anaesthetist - could he be the same anaesthetist who looked after me in 2018? Is this real, or an imposed familiarity from some anaesthetic room effect? Asked me about my favourite plants, said he'd been down to Tottenham Court Road for the best opioids as they were going in and the wierdness started. Then ......

Remember making some protesting noise as I woke up in recovery with the airway still in. One of the nurses sitting by my side spoke to the ?student nurse next to her describing its simple removal as she effected it. Found myself talking inanely to her as her laptop wouldn't work at first. You know - turn it off and turn it on again etc.

Well, that was the fun bit. Phone conversation with surgeon later, when I'd made it home, wasn't quite so good. They can't do anything surgical with the tumour as it's now in the too difficult box with respect to important bits of anatomy like blood vessels and nerves. I'll still go in on 12 May and they'll divert my bowel to a stoma which should relieve the most troublesome current symptoms. With a bit of luck this will be able to be done by keyhole surgery rather than cutting open which will mean less recovery time. Then it's over to chemo again.

Now it's the night before surgery. Eat something, drink something, for tomorrow it will not be allowed. Thanks, people for various best wishes and cheering uppers. See you soon.

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